What started as a difference of opinion soon escalated into a war of words and once alcohol as introduced; became a dangerous crisis moments away from disaster. This scenario was played out in a previous life over and over again between someone I was “married to” and me. There never was a clear winner to the argument, for the other party refused to ever once consider she was wrong. This type of attitude defines pride.
Pride refuses to lose an argument. Pride insists on always being right on everything, first in everything and better in all things. There is no room for compromise when pride enters a situation. That is why Proverbs has many things to say about pride, the proud look and other associated terms. Certainly the entire subject could be wrapped up in the verse which states; “pride comes before a fall”.
National pride, ethnic pride, sexual orientation pride and numerous other things people take pride in has succeeded in driving a wedge into relationships internationally, nationally, locally and even within families. Countless divorces have resulted from spouses of different ethnic backgrounds being unable and unwilling to set aside their pride and find a compromise.
My extremely intelligent niece decided many years ago to marry a citizen of Jordan who was legally in this country through some technicality of the immigration laws. They proceeded to have 5 children, and about the time the last child headed off to school, the husband packed up the three boys and headed to some obscure little country in the Middle East. There, he is untouchable by any authorities and will raise his three sons. My niece stayed in this country to file for divorce and retain custody of the two girls he did not want.
These kinds of extreme situations are rare, but anytime you mix different nationalities, ethnic origin, religions and cultures; there is a high risk of irreconcilable differences arising. Ultimately one of the flashpoints came down to the husband’s insistence to move the family to an Arab country away from all Christian influence. The wife refused—the husband left with the sons—and the story is over, except for picking up the ugly pieces.
Another niece of mine is on her third marriage already and she is not even 40 years old. Her domineering personality does not make things easy, but her latest failed marriage what an interracial one that by the time it ended, had become totally about race (from his point of view). Again, an obstacle that would demand humility and communication to overcome was allowed to bring defeat due to pride.
Every married couple where one is Protestant and the other Catholic have to overcome their differences or watch them destroy their marriage. Every couple where one is Jewish and the other is Christian must do the same. It is available to not have these divisions cause conflict, but it takes communication, humility and the destruction of pride.
Families are notorious for having issues with pride. In-laws can be very tricky at times if they refuse to take a new spouse into the fold due to pride. Again, the issues can be resolved whether they deal with religion, race or nationality; but it takes the willingness to communicate, the willingness to compromise and the willingness to drop an atomic bomb on pride.
Nothing destroys relationships faster than pride. Nothing destroys the ability for people to “get along” faster than pride. Nothing promotes battles, wars and hatred more than pride. Pride is not a good word and is not a virtue to be longingly sought after by Christians. To the contrary, pride is something that must be consciously sought out and destroyed before it rears its ugly head and bares its vicious teeth. Pride is ugly, foul and altogether disgusting. May we all seek to drive it out of our minds, thoughts, heart and lives. It serves NO GOOD and only causes divisions, contentions and permanent damage.
